April 2011
2 posts
6 tags
Reading Old Posts from This Blog
“My sister did have a chinchilla named Bubba!”
Apr 8th
6 tags
“I think my boob just hit AOL Help.”
Apr 8th
March 2011
1 post
4 tags
Katie: Hey, Allison.
Allison: I'm blind.
Mar 11th
1 note
February 2011
4 posts
Anonymous asked: why haven't you updated this for ages!!!!!????
Feb 17th
6 tags
Discussing "Toddlers in Tiaras"
“Yeah, there’s a 0-12 Months category, and…ugh…you know how when a baby is first born it looks like it just came out of a vagina?”
Feb 10th
2 notes
6 tags
On James Van Der Beek Crying
“Oh my God. That’s an…intelligent look. He looks like he’s crying while trying to push a corn cob out of his butt or something!”
Feb 10th
7 tags
Asshole
Katie: Somebody's tire shred on the road today.
Allison: What?! Asshole!
Katie: ...That does not make them an asshole in any way.
Feb 3rd
5 tags
“If I died, I’d want it to be, like, right now.”
Feb 1st
January 2011
2 posts
8 tags
We're Back from Break!
Allison: I'm going to conquer Rome. That's my goal in life. Just wait, you'll hear about it in a hundred years.
Abbi: You won't still be alive in a hundred years!
Allison: They're keeping everyone alive now!
Jan 19th
1 note
December 2010
2 posts
6 tags
“Today my mom was like, ‘Are we gonna put up the nativity this year?’ And I was like, ‘NO, JESUS IS DEAD!’”
Dec 5th
1 note
6 tags
“If Hitler had fire…he’d be my best friend.” [Katie and I look at each other in silence] “I’m talking about the cat, you guys.”
Dec 2nd
November 2010
10 posts
6 tags
(Sighs) “I need some cheese.”
Nov 23rd
6 tags
Allison: “I don’t know, I have this thing against hospitals.” Me: “…You’re going to be a doctor!” Allison: (laughs) “I know!!”
Nov 21st
8 tags
“I could snap those little ducks’ necks faster than you could…blink!”
Nov 18th
7 tags
“My sister had a chinchilla named Bubba!”
Nov 17th
6 tags
“Seriously, the people at the [animal] shelter are as dumb as…my toe.”
Nov 10th
6 tags
“I hate graphs. Graphs can just go die somewhere in a little cave. Just like Jesus.”
Nov 7th
7 tags
“I’ve got this thing for six-toed cats…”
Nov 5th
2 notes
6 tags
!
(Allison titters in excitement) Me: What?! Her: I just started looking at pictures of gangrene and it made me all excited!
Nov 4th
5 tags
“I’m dropping nuts in my crotch…”
Nov 3rd
8 tags
“Can you imagine a bunch of little Hindi bugs?”
Nov 2nd
October 2010
16 posts
6 tags
Sitting at Our Computers before Class
Her: “Betcha they’re all DEAD.” Me: “What?! Who?!” Her: “My fish.”
Oct 22nd
8 tags
What?!
(Katie shows me and Allison a picture of her grandfather) “That guy looks like he could shoot a skunk.”
Oct 21st
5 tags
“This apple smells like friggin’ PESTICIDES.” (shrugs, takes bite)
Oct 20th
6 tags
“I’m gonna have some crazy dreams tonight.”
Oct 18th
6 tags
“I have a fascination with looking at mice caught in mouse traps. Their noses all smushed in and stuff. Is that weird?”
Oct 18th
8 tags
"Naptime!"
Every night just before we climb into our beds, Allison says, “Naptime!” She’s always had problems sleeping through the night, so it’s never “bedtime”, it’s always “naptime”. Also, we sleep overall very little.
Oct 18th
7 tags
“I can’t WAIT to be old. I want a cane, though, so I can just beat people.”
Oct 14th
8 tags
Five O'Clock Text
“Where the flying fruitcake is a bus? Aren’t they supposed to come every 5 minutes?”
Oct 7th
9 tags
Final Thoughts Just Before Bed
“Dude, how weird would it be if Cal had hands?”
Oct 7th
10 tags
“Don’t you feel like Moses when you ride your bike through a big puddle?”
Oct 6th
2 notes
6 tags
What She's Currently Listening to
“Music that played while the Titanic sank.”
Oct 6th
haikuhoarder asked: WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU? WHO ARE YOU?
Love Ellne
Whoops, I spelled my name wrong.
Love Ellen
Oct 6th
7 tags
“Dude, I’ve been drinking water like a goddamn diabetic today.”
Oct 6th
6 tags
On Our Fish, Ancalagon
“My two favorite things about Cal are his name and his nostrils.”
Oct 6th
6 tags
Al Roker and Chaps
“DON’T TAKE ‘EM OFF, AL. YOU’LL NEVER GET ‘EM BACK ON.”
Oct 5th
5 tags
“I wanna be a hermit. Except…like…a semi-hermit.”
Oct 4th
5 tags
“I wanna be on that Little Devil’s Kitchen or whatever. Hell’s Kitchen?”
Oct 1st
September 2010
12 posts
7 tags
Katie: Dude, that chemical spill was in the building I work in! Man, I have to work tomorrow!
Abbi: It's okay. You'll just have a baby with birth defects, is all.
Allison: DUDE, THAT'S AWESOME! Can I see your baby when it's born?!
Sep 30th
5 tags
“I don’t like machines. At all.”
Sep 28th
8 tags
Final Thoughts Just Before a Chem Exam
(Sharpening a pencil) “It would be cool if we were just chilling out by the bridge and we saw somebody get attacked by a squirrel.” (Pencil breaks) “WHAT THE FRIGGLE.”
Sep 27th
6 tags
“Giggling babies scare me.”
Sep 27th
5 tags
“I’m gonna call my mom and tell her I had a sweet potato.”
Sep 27th
6 tags
If She Were an Animal
“I’d want to be a giant squid. The kind that sinks ships.”
Sep 27th
5 tags
“Halloween is way better than Christmas. You get to scare the shit out of little kids.”
Sep 27th
4 tags
“What the haybale am I watching?”
Sep 27th
5 tags
Watching Family Feud II
“Not all cowboys wear chaps, you dimshit.”
Sep 24th
4 tags
Watching Family Feud
“Dude, Zorro? Is a bad guy of the West? What the frig is she on?”
Sep 24th
4 tags
“Holy shartknuckles.”
Sep 24th